My last breath
by MerchDoyle
Summary: one shot, sort of a song fic. character death, so be warned.


A/n. I'm trying something different, so I don't know if anyone will like it. this is all told through monologues. You'll get the picture, hopefully, as you read. The songs the fic is base on 'Hello' and 'Holding my last breath' by Evanescence (roll on October 2nd for two reasons!). I also don't own the F4 characters.

Character death in this, someone has died, you'll find out soon enough. How did they die? Well, that can be left up to your own imaginations (you can't honestly expect me to do all the work!). Basically, all you need to know is that someone has been fatally wounded, and… well… you get the picture.

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Sue

"Hold on to me love  
You know I can't stay long  
All I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid  
Can you hear me?  
Can you feel me in your arms?"

Reed, I thought my love for you was stronger than anything, but I fear I am wrong. I'm not wrong about many things, but this time I cannot be more wrong. This force, I can't fight it, and I'm sorry but I don't want to, it hurts too much. I want to stay with you more than anything, we have more songs to sing, we have more books to write. We have more mistakes to make and learn from, why does it have to be now? Can you hear me?

"I'll miss the winter  
A world of fragile things  
Look for me in the white forest  
Hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)  
I know you hear me  
I can taste it in your tears"

I can hear you, I can hear you telling me that it's going to be all right, but it isn't. Please don't fill yourself with false hope, please don't believe in a lie that you know won't be made a truth, no matter how much you try. Are you afraid? Don't be, I will always be with you. Don't be afraid of walking alone when you won't be alone at all. I'll be in your heart, you mind and your soul. We may not have tomorrow, but we still have yesterday, and we always will have it. I wish you could hear what I am telling you, I wish you could hear about how much I love you, I wish… my wishes are not to be full filled, I am sorry for that.

"Safe inside myself  
Are all my thoughts of you"

I'm sorry Reed, I'm sorry Ben, and I'm sorry to my brother. I can no longer hold my last breath…

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Johnny

"Playground school bell rings again  
Rain clouds come to play again  
Has no one told you she's not breathing?"

Sue? Why won't you open your eyes? Do you remember when we were little? I'd have a bad day at school, and you would tell me on our way home that it was just a dream, and when walked through the doors were would wake up? This is school now, wake up with me so we know it's just a dream. On three, one, two… three! Why aren't you playing with me? Is it because you're mad that I spat gum in your hair? I'm sorry, I meant to do it, but I'm sorry now you did. Although, some girls have looked worse with a small bald patch on the side of their head. I know I've been a brat, but it's just the way I have always been, I'm your little brother. I'm supposed to drive you crazy, it's the way of the world. You yell at me when I do something stupid, I pretend to listen and then do something even stupider. I need you to yell at me now, please, just yell at me, and then I know it's all ok.

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Ben

"If I smile and don't believe  
Soon I know I'll wake from this dream…  
Hello I'm the lie living for you so you can hide"

Johnny is just sitting there. That smile on his face, it's as if he doesn't think it's real. He has his eyes closed and rocking himself, Why isn't he crying? Why isn't he grieving? Why is everyone just watching? People, just staring at us as if we're on show, people paying their respects are people we don't even know, but who know us. Why do they know us? It doesn't seem fair that they know so much and we know so little. How dare they feel they can be a part of such a painful period of our lives? How dare they feel they have lost as much as we have, when they know nothing, not really. How dare they pretend to feel my loss, Johnny's loss, Reed's loss? Out loss, not theirs…

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"Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken" 

Ben, I don't need anyone. I'm fine, why don't you jut leave me alone? I am alone, it how it will be now. I am alone in my bed, alone in my thoughts; it's the way it should be. I can no longer share what's in my mind with anyone, so please don't try to make me. You can't fix what doesn't want to be fixed; much like we couldn't fix ourselves and be human. Just like I couldn't fix her…


End file.
